I wrote a couple of pages for this nice new travel guide to Japan (my bit’s about drinking and bars, naturally.)
Be sure to snap it up if you’re thinking of travelling in Japan.
It’s very tasteful and sophisticated by my standards!
Here are some recent alcohol-related news stories from the land of the rising sun.
First off, Hokkaido’s wacky Abashiri brewery has made blue beer using water from melted icebergs drifting over from Russia, so you can drink away the blues with blue beer.
Okhotsk Blue is the latest addition to a line-up which already includes red beer (made with fruit extracts) and green beer (made with seaweed. Eww!)
Knock back a few pints of Abashiri’s brews, and you’ll be spewing all the colours of the rainbow into the sink the next morning.
But don’t run into trouble with the law while glugging too much Abashiri beer, or you might end up in Abashiri Prison. Yikes!
Meanwhile, Kirin have launched Cola Shock Zero, a sugar-free version of their hit alcoholic cola, Cola Shock. Zero is pretty good (therein lies the “shock”), and it’s certainly a vast improvement for anyone who doesn’t feel like drifting into a diabetic coma as they drink.
News for wine fans- a Japanese version “Sideways”, the 2004 comedy set in the Californian wine country, has been released in Japan.
A rare case of Japan remaking a Hollywood film, rather than the other way round, it’s set in the Napa valley, and stars Rinko Kikuchi of “Babel”.
Metropolis Magazine think it’s “actually a pretty good film”, but Paul Giametti, the star of the original, is none-too-impressed. He turned down a cameo in the film, saying “my career hasn’t hit that low yet. I thought, ‘What am I gonna play – the sushi chef or something?’” He also said of Fumiyo Kohinata, the actor playing his role, “They got a strange, little troll to play me.” Talk about the pot calling the kettle black!
I hate 99% of remakes, though (including the Hollywood ones), so I’m inclined to agree that it is likely to be rubbish.
Finally, Suntory Whisky have teamed up with Tower Records for a campaign called No Music, No Whisky.
Presumably this means that “whisky is worthless without the accompaniment of music”. Which is a much better advertisment for Tower Records than it is for Suntory whiskey, if you think about it. Unless they mean “you cannot enjoy music unless you’re drinking whisky,” which sounds less like an advertising campaign and more like something a homeless Scottish alcoholic might bark at passers by.
The TV commericals star well-known Japanese musicians, such as Ryuichi Sakamoto. Here’s one of the more recent ads, featuring a pair of ska musicians.
The phrase “No music, no whisky” is, of course, a spin on Tower’s “No music, no life” slogan (which is a tad insensitive to deaf people, don’t you think?!)
This Autumn, Pepsi’s odd offering is Azuki Pepsi. Azuki is a sweet red bean, often found in Japanese desserts, and it makes for an inoffensive ingredient in fizzy pop. Azuki Pepsi is too sickly for my tastes, but at least it’s original.
Meanwhile, Coke, in a rather lackluster effort, have come out with “Coca Cola Plus Fiber”.
It tastes exactly the same as usual Diet Coke, but apparently “keeps you regular.” I’d be worried if you’re turning to Coca Cola for your nutritional needs- some vegetables or fruit would be better. But at least old folk can save money on Metamucil.
Mari at “Watashi To Tokyo” has posted some groovy Sapporo commericals from a few years ago, featuring amazingly agile and dextrous beer-drinkers, leaping about in Matrix-style slo-mo.
But when I’ve knocked back a few Sapporro, I’m more inclined to move like this guy.
Recently I’ve been checking out the underground live music scene in Tokyo, and it’s decidely more extreme and entertaining than the rinky-dink J-Poop you see on TV.
Yesterday I witnessed punk band The Jet Boys (presumbably named after Elton Motello’s twisted punk classic, “Jet Boy Jet Girl”), who screamed and bounded around the stage like amphetamine junkies. Their encore featured their deranged acid-blond carnival geek of a singer stripping nude, pouring a carton of milk over his head, playing the guitar with a large radish (and grating it with the guitar strings), before pissing into a hat and putting it on his head.
Now there’s a performance I’d like to see Ayumi Hamasaki emulate on TV.
These kind of outrageous antics have been performed in the past by the likes of G.G. Allin of the Murder Junkies, but curiously enough, unlike the maniacal G.G. Allin, the Jet Boy’s singer was actually extremely shy and polite when I spoke to him after the show.
Similarly incendiary are The Ed Woods, named after the legendarily inept transvestite director of the classic “so-bad-its-good” movies “Glen or Glenda” and “Plan 9 From Outer Space”. These guys are horror-movie afficianados and their flyers and backdrops feature images from trashy films films like “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” and “The Burning.” They dress up in blood-splattered overalls and straw hats, like inbred redneck zombies, and play music not unlike The Cramps.
(They’d be good for a Halloween party).
When I last saw them perform live, the double-bass playing singer stripped off, poured a bottle of shampoo all over his hair, jumped off the stage and slid across the floor on his head, then slid back again until his head smashed into the stage. Talk about showmanship!
And yet, that guy is very friendly and courteous in person, too.
I just feel sorry for the poor bastards who have to clean up after these shows.
Wow! Evidently Japanese TV was much cooler in the 1970s.
Playgirl Q was like like Charlie’s Angels “with nudity and sexual content.” Nice! It was shown on TV Tokyo from 1974-1976, and actually pre-dated Charlies Angels by a few years.
Check out the funky theme tune.
Sequel to the long running Japanese TV detective drama of the 70s “Playgirl”, “Playgirl Q” featured Sawa Tamaki as a woman who sets up a private detective agency, recruiting a number of beautiful “thrill seekers”.
Fortunately, unlike the ladies’ magazine of the same name, “Playgirl” didn’t feature any naked blokes.
Like most summers in Japan, I’m spending my time alternating between drinking lots of beer, and then sweating it out again. Summer is a time of al-fresco imbibing in Japan, be it at a fireworks display, a beer garden, or a beach bar. But I thought I’d take some time out of my hectic schedule to offer up some boozy links from Japan.
Some Japanese folks take their alco-antics overseas. Japan Probe has posted a video of a report from Japan’s NTV about the Tsingtao Beer festival in China. Apparantly Asahi Beer is keen to expand into China, because China consumes more beer than any other country (most of the drinking being done by fat, shirtless men, if this video is anything to go by).
Meanwhile, 63 year old Prince Tomohiro (the emporer’s cuz’) is being treated for alcoholism in the imperial household hospital. It’s the third time the poor old fella’s been hospitalized for alcoholism.
Prince Harry is now seeing his future flash before his eyes!
“What Japan Thinks” has posted a survey about hangovers.
apparently 44.3% of Japanese people have thought “I’ll never drink again!” after waking up with a blinding hangover, while 21% have tried the “hair of the dog” technique of drinking more moonshine the morning after.
Also, there’s good news from “Musashino Musings”, – someone’s invented a magic beer glass that tells the waiter to bring more booze. That’s right, the brainiacs at Mitsubishi Electric have invented the “Intelligent Beer Glass”, which uses “wireless liquid level sensing glassware” to detect when you need a refill.
You need never be a “glass half-empty” kind of guy again.
It’s like a “magic porridge pot” for alcoholics. Just make sure nobody tells Prince Tomohiro!