Gaijin Tonic

When I go to to clubs and gigs around Tokyo, I usually pick up flyers for upcoming events. These phantasmagorical flyers, hastily designed by eccentric art-school graduates and drug-addled musicians, often turn out to be more spectacular than the events themselves.
Just the names of the events, musicians and DJs, can be surprising. For example…

“MONKEEEEEE FUUUUUUCK!” is an eye-catching name if ever I’ve seen one. If that’s not enough, “Fuck Masta Fuck” is surely the best DJ name ever.
Similarly offensive is the following flyer for Club Mass, where you can listen to “wanky techno” courtesy of the delightfully-named “DJ Cunt”.

There’s also the silly “DJ Cak”…

…and last but not least, the unbelievable “VJ Pile of Dog Shit.” He shouldn’t be so hard on himself.

Let’s hope they all team up for a song, appear on “The Disney Club” and top the billboard charts (”…and at number one this week is DJs Fuck Masta Fuck, Cak, Pile of Dog Shit and Cunt!”)

As well as this colourful use of the English language, there are also some amusing misspellings on Japanese nightclub flyers, as you can see below.

This flyer intructs us to “bring bring” but what is it that we’re supposed to be bringing? Bring a bottle? Bring the noise? Bring me the head of Alfredo Garcia?

I’m not sure that people will be lining up to hear this “bland new mix.” It sounds as if they’ll be spinning Enya and Kenny G all night.

The flyer below appears to be promising discounts for customers who bring kitchen equipment.

And the words aren’t all that’s freaky on Japanese flyers, the illustrations are equally mind-blowing, like the two, frankly disturbing ones below.

Who knows what kind of antics go on at those parties, but I’m sure they’re fun for all the family. Don’t forget to bring Granny!