Gaijin Tonic

That Harrison Ford is happy to unashamedly sell out will not be news to anyone who’s seen “Hollywood Homicide,” but his starring role in the cheesy Japanese 1990s ads for Kirin beer were an all-time low for Han Solo. (Solo’s sunk so low, ho ho.)
In the commercials, Harrison has been cast as an uncontrollable alcoholic, wandering the streets of Japan, asking everyone he encounters for “Kirin Lager Beer, please.” Such is the extent of his dipsomania, he’s branded as “Mr. Beer.”
Well, hell, that’s exactly how I spend my evenings, too, so who am I to judge!

Apparently the only Japanese he can say is “Kirin Lager Birru, Kudasai.” Yep, pretty much the same as me.

In the ad below, Mr movie-star pulls a prima-donna act, striding into a yakitori shop and petulantly demanding that he only be served Kirin Lager Beer. He stops short of saying “do you know who I am?”

The manager should have said “Well, excuuuuse me, your highness. And I suppose you want a bowl of M & Ms with all the green ones taken out, too.”
I like the line “everyone drinks Kirin Lager Birru.” Does that include children and recovering alcoholics?

In the next advert, Ford’s alcoholic character is so desperate for a drink, he actually starts hallucinating that he’s drinking a glass of Kirin. Oh dear, time for a trip to Alcoholics Anonymous, Harrison.

It’s inadvisable to drink beer in a sauna- you get blinding headaches from the dehydration. It’s also inadvisable to approach strange middle-aged men in Turkish baths while wearing only a towel.

Oh well, whatever you say about Harrison Ford, at least he’s got good taste in beer. He’s also got a sense of humour, judging by the clip below, from his son’s friend’s home video.

More amusing videos of Hollywood celebrities hamming it up for big bucks in Japanese television commercials can be seen at JapanAds.net