Another day, another product from Kirin, a company whose employees are required to have the imagination of Willy Wonka.
Not content with being responsible for countless teenagers vomiting their dinner up after guzzling their lethally cheap and strong 8% chu-hai, the malevolent Oompa-Loompas at Kirin have come up with an equally deadly concoction- alcoholic cola! It’s called “Cola Shock”. This is an idea so simple and marketable, that the “shock” is that it doesn’t exist already.

It’s such a ridiculously obvious idea that I can only assume that drinks manufacturers have, until now, had an unwritten agreement with each other to restrain themselves from producing Cola chu-hai, because the potential appeal to teens would be of concern to parents. Plus, youngsters might drink “Cola Shock”, mistaking it for ordinary cola. It would be a “shock” in itself, discovering that young Yuta had been unwittingly drinking booze for weeks, had developed a fierce alcohol-dependency, and was raiding the drinks cabinet and waking up shaking with the DTs, begging for a shot of whisky on his coco-pops before nursery school.
But, times are hard, and perhaps someone at Kirin finally stoop up in the boardroom and said “F*ck it, profits are down. I’m going to come right out and say it. It’s finally time to unleash the alcoholic coke!”

I spotted “Cola Shock” in the convenience store and decided to give it a try. It’s actually drinkable, which is to say, if you like the idea of cola chu-hai, you won’t be disappointed (connoisseurs of fine wine won’t be singing its praises). I mean, it’s sickly and acidic, but no more than your standard cheap supermarket cola mixed with Bacardi or Rum. Ice helps dramatically.
Expect an imitation from Asahi within a month!

The Coca Cola company seem to be taking a leaf out of the Kit Kat makers’ book, and have recently released an oddball new variety of their product. “Coca Cola Plus Green Tea” is their latest fizzy pop, which is essentially green tea-flavoured Diet Coke. I tried some of the concoction last week, and I can tell you that it tastes exactly like… Diet Coke. You can barely taste the green tea at all!

It’s not a bad beverage, but Coca Cola are going to have to pull their socks up if they want to compete with Pepsi in the weirdness stakes. A couple of years ago, Pepsi released a cucumber-flavoured drink, which was more tasty than it sounds, and last year they came out with the surprisingly inoffensive “Yoghurt Pepsi.”

This summer they have just unveiled the exotic-sounding “Pepsi Shiso”. Shiso is the Japanese name for perilla, a minty herb, also known as beefsteak plant. The Japanese often eat it with sashimi or salad.

I just tried some Pepsi Shiso. While it might be refreshing on a humid summer’s day, there’s no escaping the fact that it tastes like mouthwash.

I know the Japanese are notoriously sexually liberated, but I wasn’t expecting to see signs like these in a supermarket!

“Mather Fukin” had better watch out, whoever he is. Somebody’s after him, and they’re armed with atrocious spelling.

Mind you, this isn’t the worst graffiti I’ve seen in Japan. Someone, God knows why, enthusiastically spraypainted the names “Starbucks” and “McDonald’s” on the walls of a station in Fujisawa city.

A reader has written to me to me, who’s created a mad “drinking simulation game” called “Get Dirk Drunk”, for the iPhone and iPod Touch, in both English and Japanese, no less, (Dirk’s called “Hebereke-kun” in Japanese). It’s quite simple and addictive- you have to shake a cocktail and pour it down a guy’s throat, and watch him get rat-arsed and puke everywhere. Sort of like Pac-Man for alcoholics. Fun for all the family!

Here’s a website about it: in English and Japanese, and an iTunes link. (It costs $0.99 or 115 yen.)

It’s worth checking out for a giggle. Good for breaking the ice at parties, between knocking back the cocktails yourself.

Japan Marketing News. has some intriguing alcohol-related stories lately.
Perhaps the nation has been seized by alcoholic guilt, because there are a number of new products which simulate the experience of boozing, without any actual alcohol being involved.

Kirin has recently launched a beer called “Kirin Free”.
“Free beer?!” you cry, drooling like dogs. “This is the best news ever!”
Nope, I’m afraid it’s alcohol-free beer, with 0% alcohol in it, which is the opposite of good news (unless you’re the designated driver.)

Still, the taste of beer, alcoholic or not, is enough to make me relax, so it’s not all bad. In fact, the mere sound of a can of beer opening is enough to bring a smile to my face. And it appears beloved toymakers Bandai intend to capitalize on this simple pleasure, by releasing “Mugen (endless) Can Beer”, a novelty toy which simulates the sensation of opening a can of lager.

They come out in June, priced 819 yen.
So now all my friends know what to expect for Christmas this year.

Clearly it’s a good month for virtual drinking experiences. We have the senses of taste and sound covered by Kirin Free and Mugen Can Beer respectively, and it seems the sense of smell is also catered for:
If these kind of non-alcoholic antics are your thing, you can now try Spavino, a new liquid bath salt which contains wine.

Japan already has hot springs which smell of red wine, and now you can have the same experience in the comfort of your own home. It’s available in both red and white wine varieties, and leaves you stinking like a wino.
So, that’s the GF’s Christmas present taken care of, too.

I tell you, reading about all this booze-fakery has left me thirsting for a drink!

This weekend I went to the Jamaiican festival in Tokyo’s Yoyogi park, featuring a live Reggae Soundsystem, live painting, stalls selling Jamaiican jewelry and garments, and lots of food stalls (with long queues). I ate jerk chicken and drank Red Stripe and Hemp beer. It was fun but the expected haze of marijuana smoke was conspicuously absent! Here are some photos taken by my mate, Frank.

While I’m on the subject of Jamaiica, I’ve discovered an entertaining blog by a Japanese girl in Jamaiica. That must be one hell of a culture clash! But the girl seems streetwise and well equipped to deal with any problems over there. Here’s a typical extract:

A man who comes up and says “You come here for big anaconda,eh?” Do you find him appealing? He is just mocking you. So whenever someone says this to me, I stare at his crotch, put my hand on my hip and say “Im dead or wha? Mi no see notten between yu leg! Though mi see dem big one inna Japan” and walk away. This anaconda talk is not a come on. It’s funny though.

Check out the link here: Weh Miss Chin Seh?

Here’s a cool video that was posted on JapanSoc. JapanSoc
It’s an advert for Jinro features a salaryman rapping over some smooth G-funk, about the South Korean soju, Jinro.

I’ve received an email from a girl asking me to post my opinions on “yaeba” (as did every other Japan blogger, evidently!) This is when a girl has an extra tooth growing out of her gum, otherwise known as the “snaggletooth,” and it’s considered very cute in Japan. The lady in question has written an English blog entry about it here.

I can take or leave the yaeba teeth. I think the bikini-clad girls in this yaeba slide-show I’ve been directed to are attractive in spite of rather than because of their chompers, but I certainly wouldn’t tell any of them to piss off to the dentist if they asked me on date.

Nice… er… teeth!

I’m not a body fascist or anything, and I think such quirks can add character to a face. Thomas Hardy wrote in “Tess of the D’urbervilles” something like “it was the touch of the imperfect upon the perfect that gave Tess her beauty,” regarding a mole on her face, and this thinking can be applied to Yaeba teeth. And, perhaps, when you discover an incredibly sexy girl has a snaggletooth, she instantly seems more attainable, unlike an airbrushed magazine model.

As a Brit, I’m less sensitive to dodgy dentistry than North Americans.
And, to be honest, I’m more concerned with other areas of the body! You don’t need to look at the mantlepiece when you’re stoking the fire. Ahem.
Mind you, one of those vampire fangs could do some serious damage in the trouser department. (Come on, I quoted Thomas Hardy, so I’ve earned the right to a dick joke!)

Final thought: Having a girlfriend with “yaeba” teeth would be useful when you can’t find the tin opener.

Here are some more blog posts on this topic:
7:10 to Tokyo
Japan Probe

I couldn’t help but laugh when I heard that skinny pop-star Tsuyoshi Kusanagi, of the aging Boy-Band SMAP, was snatched by the police last night for uncharacteristic lewd, drunken behaviour. Apparently he was found totally wasted in a park near Roppongi’s Tokyo Midtown complex, being noisy, and dancing around naked. It’s funny, because on the countless TV shows he appears in, he never does anything remotely as entertaining as this! He’s always as dull as dishwater.

Come to think of it, when an incredibly camp and effeminate unmarried 35 year old singer of winsome love songs is caught indecently exposing himself in a park at home, it’s automatically assumed to be a flamboyant way of coming out of the closet.
Kusanagi is the Japanese George Michael!
I suspect there was another naked man who escaped detection by being on his knees behind a bush when the police arrived.

Well, at least this means I won’t have to see Tsuyoshi on TV for a while (except for the news). He’s on seemingly every channel, all day, every day, you see, despite having no discernable talent or charisma. In fact, this news story is by far the most entertaining thing he’s ever done!

From the Mainichi Daily News