September 19, 2008

Now here’s an establishment that knows its target market! “Booze-holic” is basically a cool way of saying alcoholic, and I guess that’s the kind of person who’s going to be frequenting this late-night Tokyo bar.
You’ve got to admire their honesty.

Here’s a link to the homepage.

New: Love Hotel Listings in English

September 17, 2008

Readers in Japan will know that a “love hotel” is a place that couples can visit for some discreet nookie, and pay for the room by the hour. The rooms come equipped with fun things like jacuzzis, karaoke machines, playstations, as well as all manner of weird sexual paraphenalia that you might want to make use of.
The hotels are easy to spot- they’re painted in garish colours, with flashing lights, and enormous, grinning, cartoon-character statues. It’s a wonder that people get planning permission for these jaw-dropping eyesores. They look like something out of Walt Disney’s wet dream!

In Japan, people are often inexplicably content to live with their parents until they’re about fifty, so they need a place to go if they want to get down to some hanky panky without Mum strolling in with a cup of tea. Love hotels cater for these folk. They are also havens for married men and women having illicit affairs- some rooms even have tape recorders with noises from bowling alleys that you can play in the background when you phone your spouse, so you can pretend that you’re having an innocent, after-work party at the bowling alley with your colleagues.

For such sleazy, uninhibited places, love hotels have some pretty archaic rules. Apparently, while cheating on your wife/husband is perfectly fine, being gay isn’t- same sex couples are not usually allowed in. You can’t get in on your own either, in case you decide to kill yourself. (Personally, I’d hope most people would choose a more poignant and poetic location to top themselves than a room full of dildos and Mickey Mouse wallpaper.)
Still, strange things can happen in a love hotel. I once read a story in the newspaper about a couple who found the week-old dead body of a prostitute under the mattress they had just been frolicking on. If anything’s guaranteed to kill a romantic mood, it’s discovering a rotting corpse!

Now, some considerate person has made a website in English, called Japan Love Hotels, which features a big directory of love hotels throughout Japan for the discerning customer. They even have maps in both Japanese and English. You can choose from a variety of weird, themed love hotels, with all kinds of bizarre novelty rooms (although, most people, when someone has spontaneously agreed to go to bed with them, are not going to waste time quibbling about wallpaper.)

The hotels have some unusual names, too. Here are a few listed on the site: “Hotel Mickey Cookies”, “Adventure Hotel Chapel Coconuts”, “Hotel Vanilla Resort”, “Hotel Movie Movie”, “Hotel Dolphin Resort”, “Amusement Hotel I’m”, “Hotel Tropicana “The Oh””, and the utterly insane “Hotel Magical Little Pumpkin” (pictured below.)

A personal favourite of mine is the demented chain of Christmas-themed love hotels, “Hotel Chapel Christmas”, where Christmas becomes Triple-X-mas. The owners have missed the message of Christmas by several thousand light years- at these places, it’s Christmas all year round, and you can get your rocks off surrounded by lit-up trees and leering Santa Claus statues.
Santa won’t be bringing any presents to the naughty boys and girls who get freaky in the “Hotel Chapel Christmas.” Ho ho ho! (that’s “ho” in the hip-hop sense of the word.)

Check out Japan Love Hotels here.

“Bull Sh*t! Darts Bar”

September 12, 2008

I found a webpage all about a darts bar in Tokyo called “Bull Shit!” Presumably they meant to call it “Bull’s Eye” but somebody made a big boo-boo.
They sell T-shirts, so I’m going to have to go and pick one up.

Apparently they hold wedding receptions there. Not a very classy location for a wedding party- a lot of girls I know would be seeking a swift annullment after the shame of spending their special day in “Bull Shit!” darts bar. I can imagine the invitations now:
“You are cordially invited to celebrate the marriage of Hiroshi and Yuko Watanabe, in “Bull Shit!” Darts Bar.”

Here’s the website.

Rock Bar “F*ck Yeah!”

September 11, 2008

You can get away with some great bar names in Japan, such as “Rock Bar Fuck Yeah!” in Yokosuka city, a name which would make outraged old biddies run screaming to the nearest police station at home. “Fuck Yeah!” is an ass-kicking rock n’ roll bar, which plays loud music and has a mix of Japanese and foreign customers. The walls are decorated with classic record sleeves, and skulls and cross-bones. You can get draught Guiness and Sapporro, fish and chips and various pizzas.

I suspect the close proximity to a huge US military base has something to do with the name of the place. It probably also led to the following list of rules, from the bar’s website:

1. No drink No stay.
2. No food and drink brought in.
3. No fighting No breaking shit.
4. No puking.
5. No jacking off.

Rock n’ Roll!

Address: Rock Bar Fuck Yeah!
Central Hotel B1F, 2-8 Wakamatsu-cho, Yokosuka, Kanagawa, Japan 〒238-0007
Tel: 046-827-8696
“Rock Bar Fuck Yeah!” Homepage (with a map in English).
Happy hour is from 6pm-9pm

Here are directions how to get there, from Asaboo:

It’s located very close to Yokosuka Chuo station. After exiting the ticket gates at the station, go down the stairs on your left. Then you see a small, short, narrow street with a pachinko, yakitori and a ramen shop. Walk through that street and you hit Yokosuka Central Hotel. Go down the alleyway on the right, and you’ll see a sign with a skull on it, with the words “Fuck Yeah! Rock Bar”. Follow the sign.

“Booze Up” Off-Road Vehicles

September 10, 2008

I love this! Who in their right mind would call a car dealership “Booze-Up”? Well, the owner of this Japanese “land cruiser speciality store” did, apparently. It makes you imagine that each guy behind the wheel of a 4X4 that could smash you to a pulp is a beer-swilling booze-hound.

Strong Stuff

September 10, 2008

There’s a growing demand in Japan for the kind of high-alcohol beers and alco-pops that strapped-for-cash teenagers and homeless guys guzzle in parks in the UK. Chemical concoctions akin to Special Brew, with the power of paint stripper, aimed to get you utterly wasted for as cheap as possible.
Kirin’s new “Hyoketsu Lemon Strong”, a vodka-based alco-pop, contains 7% alcohol, and has been selling like hotcakes.

Thanks to Lemon Strong’s success, Kirin will soon be releasing “Strong Seven”, which sounds like a kung-fu movie, but is actually a happoshu (fake beer) which is also 7% alcohol.
Penny-pinching piss-heads throughout the nation are rubbing their hands with glee and anticipation.

Read more at Japan Marketing News.

Mayonnaise Margheritas

September 3, 2008

Oh blimey, what next? Koji Nakamura, a typically inventive Japanese bartender in Tokyo, makes cocktails with mayonnaise. You might think he was incredibly drunk when he came up with the idea, but Koji is obsessed with mayo and even runs a restaurant in Western Tokyo called “Mayonnaise Kitchen” (the Japanese actually have a name for mayonnaise fanatics- mayolers.)
Koji’s creamy cocktails include the “Mayogarita”, and the “Mayoty Dog” (which has mayo instead of salt around the rim.)
I’d have to be pretty far gone to drink one of these horrific concoctions, and have a sick bucket close at hand.

More at Reuters.

Mayonnaise Kitchen Homepage.