Heartland’s Heartbroken Gold-Diggers

Heartland Bar in Roppongi Hills is a notorious pick-up joint where gold-digging 30-something women go to ensnare generous foreign banker boyfriends. But lately pickings haven’t been so rich for the Heather Mills-es of Japan. Thanks to the recent financial shitstorm, much to the ladies’ chagrin, the bankers are few and far between, so they have to make do with “IT consultants in polyester suits”, The Times Reports. My heart bleeds!

Girls come to Heartland all the way from commuter towns in Saitama or Chiba, usually aiming to avoid squeezing into the last train home, by escorting an Armani-clad exec to his penthouse suite… but these days, after several hours of watching the ice melt in their cocktails while waiting for Mr Big to appear and buy them a drink, they have to dramatically drop their standards and settle for trudging back to a guesthouse to share a mouldering futon with an unemployed ex-NOVA teacher.

This decline has been happening for months now. It’s not for nothing that Metropolis Magazine voted Heartland the easiest place to pick up ladies in Tokyo. I can attest to that. If you’re feeling randy this weekend, and you were already too broke to have been affected by the credit crunch, slap on some Brut, throw on your cheap polyester suits and head on down to Heartland.

via Japan Probe

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15 Responses to Heartland’s Heartbroken Gold-Diggers

  1. Woeful says:

    That would be a good place to look rich just to pick up woman… Wear a suit and drink scotch (wait this sounds like me) and look like a salaryman. Then again isn’t 30 in Japan considered ancient on the dating scene? One of my old girlfriends dated a Japanese guy, she even visited Tokyo with him and I distinctly remember her saying that he told her that women over 30 are like “Christmas Trees,” meaning that they’re headed for the curb.

  2. roaf says:

    Yeah, I’ve heard that expression, but it was 25! (Nobody wants a Christmas tree after the 25th). Pretty shocking. You get 50 year old men over here who are still looking for a woman under 25. Crazy.
    Luckily I’m not that picky!
    I’ve been to Heartland Bar a couple of times and it’s crazy. The women circle you like sharks.

  3. Woeful says:

    Maybe it was 25… I think that the two of us could o a lot of damage there! BTW, I’m reading a great book, a collection of Kingsley Amis’ work called Everyday Drinking. I highly recommend it.

  4. roaf says:

    Sounds like something I should read! I’ve read alot of Martin Amis, but not much Kingsley. I’ll check that out.

  5. Shu says:

    OOI!!,, I’m an IT Consultant!!..
    Show some more respect to us working class monkeys or i’ll photoshop your head onto david hasselhoffs groin.

  6. billywest says:

    Never been to Heartland Bar, but hell, it’d be worth the trip just to watch the guys pretending to be rich in order to get laid. I mean any good English teacher or IT guy knows that places like The Hub are cheaper and offer a pretty good chance of success.

    Not that I would know anything about that, but…

  7. Woeful says:

    Is “Quantum Of Solace” playing in Japan? What’s the going rate a movie ticket there anyway? I think I’m going to see it tomorrow…

  8. roaf says:

    Yeah Billy, I know what you mean. I always end up in Shubuya Hub. 190 yen cocktails in happy hour are a good selling point! And it’s always full of cool women.

    Woeful- It’s about 1800 yen ($18) to see a movie here. Quantum of Solace isn’t coming out until January! That’s annoying. I’ve seen every James Bond film since View to a Kill at the movies, you know.

  9. Ally says:

    ha ha ha. I want to go to Heartland just to see this spectacle.

  10. rick says:

    I went to Heartland in December 2005 briefly. I was amazed at how much English I heard, and how fucking difficult it was to get a drink.

    We promptly left (without being able to get a drink) and went around the corner to BELG AUBE… which was considerably less crowded, I was able to get myself a drink AND! They had tasty imported Belgian beers! Huzzah!

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  12. SG says:

    Maybe it was in earlier days this way…But now I have Febr 2012 and I was there last Wednesday and there were not may girls and in general the club was really empty…But I like the style of the club.

    I should go again today (Saturday), but I do not expect many girls…So, I will tell after…in a few hours…or Monday in case I get laid (I don’t expect that)…LOL

  13. SG says:

    I want to add that at Heartland is one small Japnaese woman – she speaks no English at all and is very unfriendly if you cant speak Japanese! But the good thing is: There is a well-travelled other lady (15 countries), which speaks English very well and smiled at me all the time and is very friendly and good for a chitchat. (They work both at the bar)

  14. SG says:

    So, just came back from Heartland…Till 11pm it was ok…not to many people, but after 11 it became really crowedand mostly with uneducated Japanese people (means: they don’t speak English or any other foreign language…)…and I spoke not only with men…also with women…

    I mean…not really my club…althugh the fish and chips for 600 are really good and the 3 barkeeper could speak the basic English words…

    The girls are mainly in groups or minimum 2 and do not really look sooooo good…

    I would not go again…

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