Cinderella, rewritten by a Japanese Kid

One of the perks of my English teaching gig is that I occasionally get to read the bizarre and entertaining stories that Japanese kids write, like this Star Wars-influenced interpretation of Cinderella:


A far far time ago Ther was a Cinderella in Tatoieene. And she was washing a bathroom. She don’t like here becaus it’s so hot and only 5 friends in here. She lived alone. And she have a idea. She go to police and get a rocket. But how? So she go to magic potato to Think about it. She go to magic potato’s house and she look. It was a dance party and she say hey magic potato! Yes, yes Said he. Can you take me to police? said Cinderella. I can do it so I need a a carpet Said potato. And she throw a carpet, and potato said po-pi-pa-de-da-daw and the carpet change to car. And Captain said I where drive? And u.h.t.b said nothing. So they drive to police. And u.h.t.b said Can we have a rocket? Police said yes I can. So they go to earth.
And nothing hapend.
The end.

So, if you want a free rocket from a police station, you just have to ask. (In reality, of course, the police would assume you were high on Angel Dust and lock you up for your own good. Isn’t reality rubbish?)
Who needs TV when you’ve got dynamite like this to read?

15 Responses to Cinderella, rewritten by a Japanese Kid

  1. Joe says:

    So, is u.h.t.b potato’s name?

  2. roaf says:

    I was wondering about that myself. I think Cinderella’s name inexplicably changes to u.h.t.b in the middle of the story. I’ll ask the kid next time I see him.

  3. freedomwv says:

    Damn! Kids can be really funny sometimes.

  4. Michael says:

    >So they go to earth.
    >And nothing hapend.
    >The end.

    I wonder if he meant that nothing bad happened on the way, or that our planet was Dullsville compared to Tatoieene. ^_^

  5. roaf says:

    The second one I think!

  6. SuperChin says:

    That was gold. You need to call a publisher. That was the most interesting thing I read all week… Sadly. “go to police and get rocket” Genius!

  7. ergonom says:

    Maybe u.h.t.b. = Ultra Hot Tatooine Babe?

  8. roaf says:

    I asked the kid! Apparently it was u.n.f.b (his handwriting isn’t all that great) and it’s supposed to stand for “United States Flying Banana.” (even though that would have been U.S.F.B.) So where the hell did the United States Flying Banana come from I wonder?
    And what happened to Cinderella?

  9. Michael says:

    United States/United Nations, I guess it would be pretty easy to mix up the initials.

    As for flying banana… a boomerang? A fried banana?

    This story just keeps getting more and more surreal. You may be looking at the next Haruki Murakami.

    You definitely need to have him do more writing assignments like this so that we can see what he comes up with next.

  10. simaldeff says:

    I want a T-shirt that says : “I’m a United States Flying Bananas!”


    PS : Finally I’m back reading you again.

  11. roaf says:

    Good to have you back!

  12. jenny says:

    this is so funny

  13. joane says:

    this is so hilarious! a nice laugh to start my day. makes me want to teach kids too!

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