Kirin’s “Cola Shock”

Another day, another product from Kirin, a company whose employees are required to have the imagination of Willy Wonka.
Not content with being responsible for countless teenagers vomiting their dinner up after guzzling their lethally cheap and strong 8% chu-hai, the malevolent Oompa-Loompas at Kirin have come up with an equally deadly concoction- alcoholic cola! It’s called “Cola Shock”. This is an idea so simple and marketable, that the “shock” is that it doesn’t exist already.

It’s such a ridiculously obvious idea that I can only assume that drinks manufacturers have, until now, had an unwritten agreement with each other to restrain themselves from producing Cola chu-hai, because the potential appeal to teens would be of concern to parents. Plus, youngsters might drink “Cola Shock”, mistaking it for ordinary cola. It would be a “shock” in itself, discovering that young Yuta had been unwittingly drinking booze for weeks, had developed a fierce alcohol-dependency, and was raiding the drinks cabinet and waking up shaking with the DTs, begging for a shot of whisky on his coco-pops before nursery school.
But, times are hard, and perhaps someone at Kirin finally stood up in the boardroom and said “F*ck it, profits are down. I’m going to come right out and say it. It’s finally time to unleash the alcoholic coke!”

I spotted “Cola Shock” in the convenience store and decided to give it a try. It’s actually drinkable, which is to say, if you like the idea of cola chu-hai, you won’t be disappointed (connoisseurs of fine wine won’t be singing its praises). I mean, it’s sickly and acidic, but no more than your standard cheap supermarket cola mixed with Bacardi or Rum. Ice helps dramatically.
Expect an imitation from Asahi within a month!

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19 Responses to Kirin’s “Cola Shock”

  1. freedomwv says:

    I tried it on my lunch break the other day. The shock for me was how strong it is. I was surprised. I took a big first drink and almost coughed it up. It is not all that bad once you get used to it.

    • McAlpine says:

      What do you mean you tried some on your lunch break!? Were you working that day? You are unbelievable. Took one sip and coughed it up!? And you call yourself a Southerner? I wonder what would happen to you if you drunk a real man’s drink?

  2. Alex says:

    Isn’t that just a Jack & Coke?

    Doesn’t seem very original to me.

  3. freedomwv says:

    Yeah, but it is damn strong.

  4. Ryan says:

    Is there anything that Kirin doesn’t touch? I mean, it seems like almost everyday that they’re bringing out something new!

  5. meh, it’s only 5% so I guess that’s for kids anyway.

    I love my Strong Seven.

  6. freedomwv says:

    It is the taste that is the surprise.

  7. Had a couple of these the other day, also on my lunch break (LOL@freedomwv). I think what shocked me the most is how sugary sweet it is. The alcohol in it is vodka, as I recall from the advertisements.

    This is the second cola-n-booze drink I’ve seen recently; Suntory put out a version in its Zero line of chuhai a month or so ago.

    Ugh. Too much alcohol recently…

  8. Haikugirl says:

    I just love the idea of there being “Oompa-Loompas at Kirin”! Haha!

  9. Marisa says:

    Where was this when I was in Japan, and wanted something to drink that resembled the sort of alcopops I prefer at home?

    Had to cope with some pretty nasty lemon-beer and cocktail in a can 😦

    Woo Woo for Alco-Cola, hope it is around for me to try when I go back next year.

  10. Beerhound says:

    Sigh – I wish those Oompa-Loompas would stop messing about with Willy Wonka’s drinks cabinet and get back to work knocking out some more of that really tasty beer they came up with last December. How about some happochu that tastes of something – there’s a challenge!

  11. Beerhound says:

    Also – had my first experience of “Turbo-Shandy” this weekend. Thoroughly recommended as a way of off-ing a considerable number of brain cells in a single sitting.

  12. roaf says:

    Turbo Shandy? Nice!

    Yeah, Cola Shock was a bit like JD and Coke, but they haven’t started selling that stuff in the can (yet! They should start selling pre-mixed vodka and Redbull, too!)

  13. Mike says:

    You should see the CM for the Cola Shock..who knows if it’ll shock you, lol

  14. Hentanimanga AlWahsh says:

    Just tried it myself. No real shock, but akward taste. Kinda has a standard beer taste as an aftertaste.

  15. nonalcoholic says:

    I have never tasted alcohol before this. I tried it it tasted more like coke but with a slight burning sensation in the throat. apart from that i did not anything at all. Is it because it is only 5%

  16. jamba says:

    it was shocking taste. terrible. i don’t want even 1 drop of it…

  17. […] Kirin have launched Cola Shock Zero, a sugar-free version of their hit alcoholic cola, Cola Shock. Zero is pretty good (therein lies the “shock”), and it’s certainly a vast […]

  18. aviation says:

    aviation…

    […]Kirin’s “Cola Shock” « Gaijin Tonic[…]…

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