Bad Graffiti

June 24, 2009

“Mather Fukin” had better watch out, whoever he is. Somebody’s after him, and they’re armed with atrocious spelling.

Mind you, this isn’t the worst graffiti I’ve seen in Japan. Someone, God knows why, enthusiastically spraypainted the names “Starbucks” and “McDonald’s” on the walls of a station in Fujisawa city.

Mad Kids’ Pictures

March 25, 2008

The seven-year-olds I teach keep presenting me with hilariously deranged pictures, which I always keep. The drawings are usually outrageously violent battle-scenes, or grotesque portraits of me. Oh well, I can’t complain- I did exactly the same thing at their age. Although, I was always sure to secretively doodle the unflattering caricatures of my teachers under my desk, rather than actually show them, for fear of getting into trouble. I guess times have changed.

This first picture features not one but two charming portraits of yours truly- one with a performing seal balanced on my head and a snotty nose, and the other looking like an evil and demented psychopath. The Japanese culture of respect is as alive as ever.

In the picture below of me as a disheveled, unshaven wreck, the speech bubbles are supposed to represent burping and farting. Lovely. Well, at least my students are using Roman characters.

The kid who drew the picture above, also drew the bizarre masterpiece below, a vision of Heaven, in which he is sat between God and (misspelled) Jesus, and surrounded by Pokemon.

The portait above, a personal favourite, shows me as a snot-nosed superman being pursued by Darth Vader and a giant ant. This kid should work in Hollywood!

Finally, a nihilistic vision of the apocalypse, complete with nuclear missiles, mushroom clouds and a skull and cross-bones flag. I’m not the one teaching them this stuff, honest!