The New Craze – Chocolate Booze!

January 25, 2010

A trip to my local convenience store today revealed not one but two new chocolate-based alcoholic drinks, so I felt duty-bound to try them both and write about them here.

First is Sapporo’s new chocolate-flavoured beer, “Chocolat Brewery Bitter”. Each mouthful tasted nice for a second, then repulsive. Chocolate and beer, while yummy on their own, inherently don’t go together, and the taste was much like guzzling lager while munching on a Mars bar at the same time, which nobody ever does for a reason- it tastes grim. Now, if someone made curry beer or peanut beer…

After that I tried Asahi’s “Chocolat Cocktail” which isn’t really my kind of drink, but will probably be a success with chocolate-lovers and booze-curious teenagers, because it tastes exactly like chocolate milkshake, without a hint of alcohol to be detected (although the can claims it’s 4% proof.) The sweet-toothed will love Chocolat Cocktail, whereas Chocolat Brewery Bitter will taste horrific to beer-drinkers and chocolate-eaters alike.
But, once again, top marks for trying, Japan!

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Fish Beer? Oh God, No!

December 8, 2008

I’ve heard of drinking like a fish, but this is ridiculous.

A microbrewery in Konan City in Kochi, Japan has recently celebrated their first 10 years in business by concocting “Tosa Kuroshio Karyudo Beer,” a lager which contains dashi, the fish stock that they use to make miso soup.
Pass the sick bucket, please!

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I once accidentally put a sachet of dashi in my coffee, mistaking it for sugar. It tasted truly grotesque, so I’m sceptical of this fish beer. But if you want some and you’re in Japan, call the brewer, Tosa Kuroshio Bakshu, on 0887554111. For about 3000 yen they are selling six-packs of their various beers, including two fish beers.
Oh well, it sounds truly repulsive, but I might try a bottle, just for the halibut.

Found at Japan Marketing News


Mayonnaise Margheritas

September 3, 2008

Oh blimey, what next? Koji Nakamura, a typically inventive Japanese bartender in Tokyo, makes cocktails with mayonnaise. You might think he was incredibly drunk when he came up with the idea, but Koji is obsessed with mayo and even runs a restaurant in Western Tokyo called “Mayonnaise Kitchen” (the Japanese actually have a name for mayonnaise fanatics- mayolers.)
Koji’s creamy cocktails include the “Mayogarita”, and the “Mayoty Dog” (which has mayo instead of salt around the rim.)
I’d have to be pretty far gone to drink one of these horrific concoctions, and have a sick bucket close at hand.

More at Reuters.

Mayonnaise Kitchen Homepage.


Gachachin

April 10, 2008

Kawasaki City’s annual penis-celebrating fertility festival, the Kanamara Matsuri took place on Sunday and was as crazy as ever. A highlight was the appearance of Gachachin, a grotesquely mutated phallic version of the popular cuddly character, Gachapin. Gachapin usually looks like this:

…and this is Gachachin:

Truly, deeply warped. He looks like the bad-trip hallucination of Sigmund Freud watching children’s television on mescalin.
I wonder if we can expect to see more of Gachachin in the future?
I, for one, would like to see him do battle against Flesh Gordon.


Drinking Pig Afterbirth Keeps You Young. Yum Yum!

April 2, 2008

The Japanese are obsessed with remaining youthful (as we can see from the legions of grown men sitting on trains, wearing Donald Duck T-shirts and reading comics or playing Nintendo DS games.)

The shops are full of beauty products which promise to help buyers retain their good looks.
According to Invertorspot, ladies these days will stop at nothing to preserve their unblemished skin. The successful “Q-Bit” range of beauty products, made by Nihon Sofuken, even has piggy placenta as its active ingredient. Q-Bit can be purchased as a face-pack, a drink, or supplement pills. Ever wondered why the Japanese always look so young? People are frantically rubbing swine-afterbirth on their faces, or guzzling it down like there’s no tomorrow.

Worried about drinking the liquidized placenta of Porky Pig? Don’t worry- it’s peach flavoured!

Invertorspot


Toilet Trouble

January 18, 2008

Visitors to Japan find much amusement in the high-tech toilets. You know, the sort of futuristic robo-crappers that C3PO might drop his techno-turds into. Tourists point and guffaw at the heated seat and the panel of buttons so complex you need a pilot’s license to operate.
I wasn’t laughing, however, when I was puking into one of them the other day.

In a state of drunken delirium I had blithely missed my last train home from Tokyo after a frenzied drinking session, and had to stay on my friend’s sofa. His classy new apartment was equipped with a space-age lavatory and, early the next morning, I was kneeling in front of it, miserably spewing up the acidic contents of my guts. I felt bloody awful and deeply regretted the three pints of gin and tonic I had knocked back towards the end of the night.

After some considerable time I finally stopped heaving and I reached blindly for the control panel to flush the toilet. However, as I fumbled feebly with with the buttons, I somehow made the mistake of operating the bidet function instead. As the sudden jet of scalding hot water hit me in the face, startling me and drenching my shirt, I sorely missed the traditional, cold porcelain toilets of home.


Flasher Usagi

May 17, 2007

The designers of this ad for NOVA corporation clearly weren’t thinking too hard. Their mascot is the NOVA Usagi, a hybrid pink rabbit with a beak. As if looking like a deformed chimera that’s escaped from a genetics lab wasn’t enough, in the picture below, the Usagi appears to be waving his winky around like a depraved flasher!