Japanese Monkey Waiters

October 29, 2008

Amazingly, there’s a pub in Tochigi prefecture with two monkey waiters.

I fully intend to check this place out some time. I wonder if they go ape-shit if you don’t leave a tip.

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Random Ramblings

August 30, 2008

Here are a couple of stories that I wrote but forgot to post in the winter. At the time I was perusing the tabloids and news-sites to find funny tales of drunken scandals in the Land of the Rising Sun. But there weren’t that many!

Youths Throw Mayonnaise at Coming of Age Day
The annual coming-of-age-ceremony takes place in January each year. It’s a traditional event where those who are 20 years old that year celebrate their adulthood by dressing up and attending a special ceremony in their local town hall. The streets are brightened up by beautiful girls in fur stoles and luxurious silk kimonos that cost their parents a small fortune.
Historically, the students spend the day posing for photographs and sitting quietly, listening to numerous speeches by local dignitaries. (These speeches are, by all accounts, extremely boring.)
Now, in the West, if you filled a hall with thousands of adolescents and told them that they are now allowed to drink, smoke, and pretty much do whatever the hell they like from now on, all hell would break loose. If the newspapers are anything to go by, things seem to be headed in that direction in Japan too these days. Each year, there are more and more headlines about the drunkenness and debauchery of the new adults.
Indeed, each year I look aghast at the 20-year-old girls sat in bars, dropping cigarette ash and slopping red wine onto their priceless kimonos.

The most ridiculous incident I read about took place during the speeches this January. Two boys had obviously taken to the newly-permitted booze-guzzling, like ducks to water, and had been knocking back the beverages before the event. Bored to tears by the monotonous speeches, the pair of delinquents crashed the stage and started throwing mayonnaise at each other. To a room of 20 year olds, the sauce-splattered tearaways’ slapstick routine was probably far more entertaining than the actual speeches, but the older generation didn’t see it that way.

I’m just pleased to live in a country where mayonnaise slinging still makes the headlines!

Drunken Molesting Demon.
One of Japan’s most bizarre events is the annual Namahage festival in Akita. Every New Year’s Eve, a group of men wearing terrifying monster costumes visit all the local children at their homes and scare the shit out of them, threatening to take the little rascals away if they are naughty or disrespectful. With their grotesque masks, straw raincoats, wooden knives and haunting cries, the Namahage bogeymen are sure to subdue even the most rambunctious toddler. Good work, guys!
(Personally, I think this would be a good solution to the escalating juvenile delinquency in the West. Send guys in Freddy, Jason or Pinhead costumes around to scare some sense into young Timmy. “If you don’t eat your vegetables…I’LL TEAR YOUR SOUL APART!”)

This year, however, proceedings didn’t go according to plan. Thanks to imbibing way too much booze during the festivities, one of the Namahage fellas caused quite a scene. He got so utterly smashed that he somehow stumbled into a women’s public bath, still in his creepy costume, and started groping and chasing the naked ladies around. The poor women must have horrified. He was trying to “give them the willies,” so to speak. It sounds like a Benny Hill spoof of “The Ring”.
The lascivious loon got a severe telling off, but got off with a slap on the wrist after saying sorry. The lesson is- if someone wants to get away with groping ladies, they must be wearing a ridiculous costume. It worked for Benny Hill!

More at Japan Probe.


More Weird Drinks

July 29, 2008

Steve at Inventorspot has come up with a mind-boggling list of of weird Japanese drinks, most of which even I have not heard of, including a bust-boosting mango-flavoured drink for teenage girls (oh shit, that’s what it is? I think I drank that. Now I know why I’m growing man-boobs!); eel-flavoured soda (Excuse me while I puke. Hey, you could play pranks with this- give it to a friend with a hangover, tell them it’s cola, sit back and watch ’em spew!) and “Needs” cheese drink (Enough said.)

Check out the article here!


Beer 24/7/365

May 25, 2008

This woman’s T-shirt says “Beer24/7/365”. Apparently she drinks beer every hour of every day of every year! (Well, with a single day off every leap year.)
Sounds fun but I’m not sure I’d advocate a mix of uncontrolled alcoholism and sleep-deprivation – it might be quite bad for you.


Kawasaki Halloween Festival

October 12, 2007

Kawasaki, near Tokyo, is host to a number of eccentric festivals and events, including the notorious Kanamara festival in April (where folk carry a giant pink penis statue down the street.) This month sees the return of Kawasaki’s annual Halloween festival, the highlight being a wild street parade on October the 28th, featuring some of most insanely outlandish costumes you’ve ever seen. An eclectic array of costumed freaks, from Pikachu to Freddy Krueger, hit the streets of downtown Kawasaki and follow floats blasting out pounding techno tunes, much to the horror and amusement of bewildered bystanders.
Below are some photos I took of the parade over the last couple of years and here’s a review of 2005’s event.

The parade starts at 2PM on October the 28th, at Kawasaki’s Cittadella complex. Other events include a screening of the Rocky Horror Picture Show, and a potentially hilarious “70s/80s Dancing Party Halloween Special” on the 27th.
Learn more at the official website.